Stuff Kanye Says

Why I ordered a 4’x200′ roll of black paper, I don’t know. Okay, I do, because it was going to be awesome and I’ve never had such a big piece of paper in MY WHOLE LIFE! (Yes, this is really the type of things these days that gets me excited.) The objective? Originally, I was going to scribe the Kanye West rant during the Sacramento performance or the Good Will Hunting monologue by Robin Williams for my brother and mount it as a housewarming present.

I got the paper and decided quotes would be easier, and, let’s face it, Kanye’s noteworthy quote volume is off the charts as is everything else according to him. It was easier and required a little less planning from a space perspective than doing a full monologue transcript. In short,  I got to avoid paralysis by analysis and just start which is often the most challenging part of a new project. It took me a couple hours on a Friday evening and the new Defender’s show in its entirety to finish, but it was totally worth it.

Check out the final product below! I list the quotes out in order. Read them. Laugh about them. Share this with your friends! What type of other things would you like to see written like this? Let me know!

1. Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.
2. I don’t even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.
3. I just told you what I thought I was. A god!
4. I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.
5. I will go down as the voice of our generation, of this decade.
6. Fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on.
7. Just imagine if I woke up one day and I was whack. What would I do then?
8. What is Kanye made a song about Kanye called “I miss the old Kanye?” Man, that would be so Kanye.
9. I am the nucleus!
10. I just threw some kazoo on this bitch.
11. We were on the jet, flying back, and we were watching Mean Girl. And that’s how we party.
12. Sometimes I get emotional about fonts.
13. It’s only led me to complete awesomeness at all times. It’s only led me to awesome truth and awesomeness.
14. How many mother f*ckers you done seen with a leather jogging pant?
15. I’m a pop enigma. I live and breathe everything in life. I rock a bespoke suit and I go to Harold’s for fried chicken. It’s all these things at once because as a taste maker, I find the best of everything.
16. This one Corbusier lamp was like my greatest inspiration… I’m a minimalist in a rapper’s body.
17. When I think of my competition, it’s like I try to create against the past. I think about Michelangelo and Picasso and, you know, the pyramids.
18. I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.
19. Mayonnaise-color Benz, I push Miracle Whips.
20. I am Warhol. I am the number one most impactful artist of our generation. I am Shakespeare in the flesh.
21. On one end, I try to scale it back because I don’t want to close any of the doors needed to create the best possible product. But my ego is my drug. My drug is, “I’m better than all you other mother f*ckers. Kiss my ass!”
22. I love you like Kanye loves Kanye
23. I think I do myself a disservice by comparing myself to Steve Jobs and Walt Disney and human beings that we’ve seen before. It should be more like Willy Wonka… and welcome to my chocolate factory.
24. I don’t know what’s better: gettin’ laid or gettin’ paid.
25. I feel like the type of girl I would be with is a fellow superhero. So we get that already flying and now we’re flying together thing.
26. I have never done a publicity stunt in my life.
27. I wanted to meet with Trump today to discuss multicultural issues.
28. I would write “creative genius” when I go through the airport on customs forms where you put what your title is except for two reasons: it takes too long to write and sometimes I spell the word genius wrong.
29. I keep it 300 like the Romans.
30. I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.
31. Puff Daddy is the most important cultural figure in my life.
32. I made that song because I am a god. I don’t think there’s much more explanation needed.
33. I have decided to run for president in 2020.
34. Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one that believed it?
35. I am pretty good as far as geniuses go… I’m like a machine. I’m a robot. You cannot offend a robot.
36. If I made a did record of myself, I would kill me. I would be extremely good at it.
37. I’m assuming I have the most Grammy’s of anyone my age.
38. I feel like I am the Braveheart of creativity.
39. I have a absolutely no plans for what I’m going to say.